Making Sense of Our Teens' Mistakes

Happy New Year, everyone. It's Dr. Caron.

And Dr. Allen. And, you know, with our kids home over the last few weeks off of school for the winter holidays, I have been reflecting a lot on some of the dynamics reactions I've had, and some I've felt good about and maybe some less good about. And that You mean reactions to your kids or reactions The mess in the house Yeah. The dishes, the need for a lot of food and all the meals all of the time, and then leaving those things everywhere.

Yeah. Some high emotions Yeah. Periodically.

Yes. Less sleep, more sleep. So just a lot of a lot of different things, which have made me kind of aware and and mindful of, like, my own pressure points and stress points that are helpful sometimes and not so helpful at other times.

I've had a few of those, gotta be honest. Yeah. You know, I think it's I I think that's absolutely right, and it's a good thing to reflect on as we start a new year. I think we all, at times, when we're stressed or whom we've had a lot of one on one time together, we can kind of had have knee jerk reactions to things. And we can feel as parents like we have to do something.

Right? When you saw those dishes in the sink or whatever, you feel like in that moment, you have to teach them that they have to take care to put things in

the dishwasher. Well, especially our older ones who are presumably Going to

college next next, oh my god, in Yes. Nine months.

And I'm just waiting to get messages from their roommates and their parents, you know, hateful towards me for a certain number of behaviors perhaps. Right.

And so that urge leads us to wanna, like, do something to fix it, to teach them. Yeah. Right? My kids are so often telling me, mom, you don't have to make this a lesson.

Right? Oh, all the time I get that.

And and so since I'm getting that feedback and since I've had some knee jerk reactions lately, Suzanne and I thought it might be really helpful to kind of make for ourselves, and if you're interested, you can join us, the effort to try to focus this year not on doing something in the moment when our kids react a certain way or we see things that upset us, but really focus on being something as opposed to doing something. So being something or someone for our kids and for our families.

I love that idea of being.

And and because of that, we we really felt like this might be a great time to rerelease our previous podcast that, you know, was entitled Making Sense of Our Teens Mistakes. Right? And it really educates you on the reasons why teens are set up to make mistakes, do risky things sometimes, and kind of get under our skin. But all of those behaviors that they do kind of leads to their own brain development and learning. Mhmm.

You know?

Yep. But it's so hard,

right, when they do something or when we see something and we when we have that feeling inside to kind of stay calm and present. Would you agree? Agreed.

Yep. Yeah. We can often kind of jump to future fortune telling about how this will play out later for them or what might go wrong.

I think you just did that, Suzanne, because both our boys that are going to college next year

Oh, I

you you decided that their roommates were gonna call you or their parents, right, who who parented these boys. Anyway, I will give an example just to take with you before we jump into our episode on teen mistakes of what I tell parents when their teens do something or when they're feeling a big reaction or maybe when their teen says something that's kind of intense or overwhelming to us, I encourage parents to take a pause. Right? That's the being part. Be in the moment.

Right? And try to respond to your teen in the way that you'd respond to, like, a neighbor or an adult in the community that maybe says something to you. Maybe you don't know that well, but like says something to you that you think is really outlandish or inappropriate or problematic in any number of ways. But the way that you'd respond to them would probably be like saying, oh, that's interesting. Right?

And then you might say something like, oh, tell me more about that. I hadn't thought about it that way. Now in your mind, you might be thinking, this is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard and I think that that's a terrible decision. But what you do on the outside would be something like that.

Right? Well, we tend to restrain ourselves a little bit more

with other people in the community outside of our homes. Right. And we do that because that's socially acceptable and because we're not making predictions and fortune telling in our mind about what's gonna happen to that adult, you know, a year from now, nine months from now when they go to

college or whatever else. Interestingly, though, that approach that you shared, my guess is you're likely to get more information from that neighbor or that person sharing that story with you when you have maybe a less judgmental face or a less intense reaction and you're able to ask them like, oh, tell me more about that, or I've never heard about that before. Absolutely true. And imagine what we might be able what kind

of responses or what kind of relationship we might be able to build with our teens if we had more of those reactions instead of just reacting from our own emotions when we hear something. I think you you really hit the nail on the head there because we don't feel responsible for that other adult in the neighborhood or the community, but we do sort of feel responsible sometime, you know, to our teens, you know, and to teaching them and to helping them build, you know, into beautiful, you know, humans who can live on their own and have big beautiful lives. And the the unique sort of trick of raising teenagers is realizing that allowing them to sort of say their outlandish things or doing their outlandish things or maybe problem solving them things things more and more for themselves actually helps them more.

Yeah. Yeah. It really does. It's also been interesting for me as a parent realizing sometimes that there's more than one way to handle something. And while I may have a good amount of life experience and have some good ideas, times when I've been able to back off a little bit and watch my kids solve their own problems, or in my clinical sessions, really watch clients solve their own problems, I've been amazed with, at times, the ways they've approached it that I I would not have but really work for them.

Right. Right. They they have a lot

more information about their own lives than we do. Yeah. So all of this is important to keep in keep in mind. But to help you sort of make the attempt if you're interested, as Suzanne and I are making the attempt to really focus less on doing and more on being someone for our teens, we're gonna rerelease this episode on teen mistakes because we think understanding our teens' mistakes will help you be more able to kind of sit on your hands a little bit, hold the comment back, listen more, and see how they might just problem solve it. So happy New Year, and let's begin the episode.

Why does my team keep messing up, and why am I losing it? I think the reason that our teens keep making mistakes is because like us, they're humans. Well, if

they, you know, had these missed assignments, then that means they're not responsible. They were just pushing the limits, you know, and they're affiliating.

It was so bonding. We tried it. It was terrible. I felt like I felt connected to them. So our hope is for tweens

and teens that they get a few of those experiences. Our choice is just are we gonna handle it really overreacting and anxious and stressed out? What? We parents, the conclusions we jump to about our kids oftentimes are wrong.

Welcome back to the Parenting Pair Podcast. I'm Doctor. Suzanne Allen.

And I'm Doctor. Annelise Karin.

And we are starting with another question again today. Why does my teen keep messing up and why am I losing it?

Oh, that's actually two questions, Suzanne.

I know I'm sneaking them in.

You're sneaking them

in. Two into one.

No. But that is that is a really great question. Why does my team keep making the mistake that they seem to always make? Right? And why can I keep my cool when this happens?

Mhmm. Right?

So let's split it in half because you're right. In all fairness, those are those are two questions bundled into one. Mhmm. So let's start with why does my teen keep making mistakes or or messing up? You know, it's funny.

I think the reason that our teens keep making mistakes is because like us, they're humans. They're totally And

if I really reflect on this, I make mistakes all the time. But I put my mistakes in context in my brain, right? So it's okay for me. Right? Know, I think of, I don't know, myself as a reasonably law abiding citizen that likes to follow the things we're supposed to do as a citizen.

And yet, I've sent my taxes in late. Mhmm. Mhmm. And that's not a good thing to do. Right?

But I did it and it's like, well, there was a lot going on that week. There were there were confusions in the taxes because of different things and I justified it. It made sense. My intention was there, right, to do it right. But I didn't do it.

But the funny thing is when we see our tweener teen maybe not hand in their assignment on time, have multiple zeros, you know, or suddenly be failing something, I think we don't go to putting it in that context that I did for myself.

Right?

We get worried.

Yeah. Well, think sometimes, right, it it feels like it can mean bigger things. Mhmm.

Right. That that right. We go to, oh, no. Well, if they, you know, had these missed assignments, then that means they're not responsible. That means the teacher won't like them.

Maybe they'll fail the class. And if they fail the class, then that means something else bad.

Mhmm.

Right? And so then we're we're on a roll with those sorts of things. And it feels like there's bigger consequences.

Yep. And it means I should do something. Like I've got to intervene right now and get them on on the right track.

You know, and I think what you just said there, that's how it feels. We don't even think that. We just do something. Mhmm. I've got to go talk to them about this.

I've got to go fix this. I've got to, you know, help them with their study skills or whatever the, concern is as opposed to pause and put it in context like I did with my taxes. I think though when they get into that middle school, high school age range, it kind of feels like the mistakes they make maybe do have bigger consequences, you know, have bigger implications for their future. And that's part of why we get so stressed out and kind of overreactive But to there's lots of different reasons that teens can

So one is that they're human beings. Yep. Two. Right? And and I know we spoke about this in our last podcast is that this is a time of incredible development and they are striving for some different things during this age, having a little bit more autonomy or independence to make their own decisions, wanting to have experiences.

Their curiosity is piqued. They wanna go out into the world and have different experiences. They're open to meeting new people. Right? So there's a lot of things that kind of set them up in new environments and with new people that listen.

Now in my, you know, I I can look back and kind of reflect on those things. I have lots and lots of years of experience in different places and with different people. But when this is all new to you, of course, you're gonna make mistakes.

You're gonna make mistakes. But you're right. I think they teens sometimes make decisions because you know, they're just excited about a possibility or they're in it can look risky to us adults or like a bad decision. When really it's just curiosity and new friends and new possibilities Yeah. That are really good for them to have.

And if we clamp down, that not only hurts our relationship, but it also gets in the way of that wonderful exploration that leads to brain development, that leads them to become these really interesting people as they grow up. As you

were saying that, I it for anyone who's watching this on YouTube, you could have seen the smile on my face because as you were talking about it, it actually brought me back to an experience that I had many many years ago Oh, tell me more. As a teenager. So this is not as a teenager. And I I had a pretty significant falling out with my my friends and I was pretty publicly dropped by my very close friends in middle school. And, you know, as anyone that had that happen know that that's really hard and it's really lonely and really isolating and then trying to find new friends at that time.

And I was very fortunate that two really lovely girls kind of extended an olive branch. They were very good friends and they invited me to start sitting with them at lunch and ultimately a couple weeks in invited me

We love those kids.

To sleep over. I know. They're they're they're still lovely human beings I think. And so they invited me for a sleepover and I went and the the girl who I was sleeping over, her mom worked kind of later at night so she wasn't coming home till a bit later. And I don't know.

I can't tell you at this point how this idea was hatched, but we were three girls on our own and we found a lighter in her house and decided that This is getting more interesting. Yeah. That we were going to go out. None of us had ever tried smoking before cigarettes, and so we thought this was very exciting.

Very.

And so we went out and walked the streets of her neighborhood in the evening and picked up cigarette butts. I'm I'm owning this.

I love this.

We picked up cigarette butts that people had thrown out the windows of their cars on the

cheaper than buying them.

Yes. Mhmm. And we lit them and tried smoking each of us from these cigarette butts on the ground.

So let me set the scene here. Yeah. If I understand it correctly. You're like a sixth or seventh grader.

Oh, I

am. You're you've lost your friendship group by way.

Sorry parents if you're listening to this for this revelation of my childhood.

So you've lost your friends, which by the way, this is a great example because friendship shifts in middle school are so normative but they can be so hurtful.

So

hurtful. And they can be so public and shaming and overwhelming. Just if you're listening with a middle school kid, know that it gets better. Know that people kind of fall into themselves as they grow up and their identity shift.

But it's really painful when it happens and it's painful as a parent to watch it happen. But you get a new couple of couple of friends. Yeah.

You get invited to a sleepover, and in the dark, you're wandering the streets Mhmm. Smoking used cigarettes.

Mhmm. Awesome. And and, you know, I I could see now as an adult, I look at that and I'm like, wow. That could have gone a variety of ways. And I'm telling you right now that if I was driving down the street and I saw one of my teenagers or my tween picking cigarette butts off the ground and smoking them, I I would have some reactions probably to that internally and have to really think about this.

But I I have to tell you

But can I just interject? Yes. I love that because right. If if I saw my son or daughter picking up cigarette butts and smoking them at night in the dark in a random neighborhood, I'd be pretty

A few years post COVID?

Like their judgment their judgments off, they're, being irresponsible, they

could get sick. What if a neighbor sees them? What if someone takes a picture Post of it on social media. Whose girls are out wandering the street right now smoking cigarette butts? Where are their parents?

Right. And so I would be worried about them and their judgment. How could they do this? Or that might be the knee jerk response. But tell me, why did you do that and how did it feel?

Well, I I'm I think we we did it because we realized none of us had ever tried cigarettes and it seemed very adult at the time and very cool. And so we wanted to have that experience. And I have to tell you, when I sit in my my body right now and I kind of think about it, I it feels like really special. Like, it feels like this. And I know it's really gross.

Special night. And people might be listening to this and thinking, this is really disgusting. I'm disgusted by this story, but I'm not. It I felt so connected to them. And to be honest with you, it felt a little like those eighties and nineties movies of like Oh, yeah.

On their own. Like, Goonies, there's no pirate treasure, but there's cigarette butts. Like I know. You know, we were kind of like having this experience. It was so bonding.

We tried it. It was terrible. I remember I got an awful headache from it and felt really sick afterwards, but then we all went back and popped some popcorn and and watched a movie, but it felt like I felt connected to them. I felt independence. It just felt kind of thrilling to be honest with you.

And to this day, I have such a warm spot in my heart for that night at that moment, which may be disgusting to other people. But what you're saying there is you were doing something.

You were having a shared experience. It was a bit of a quote unquote risky behavior. Yeah. Right? So you're push pushing the boundaries, but that's what tweens and teens are supposed to do.

And it does look different today. The things that happened today, you know, may not be that wonderful story you just shared. Yeah. Might Some

other things could have happened. I I can see where that might not. Someone might be affiliating online and I don't

know, cursing on Instagram or in a group chat about something really important to like really affiliate with that. Maybe if a parent saw that, they would be worried like why did you use the f bomb three times on Instagram? Because colleges could see that or someone else's parent could see that. So but those sorts of things, even though we're not encouraging that kids, they're just pushing the limits, you know, and they're affiliating and probably you get positive feedback from that. Yeah.

Why not to

try new things. Right.

So really what we parents, the conclusions we jump to about our kids oftentimes are wrong. So our hope is for our tweens and teens that they get a few of those experiences like you had Suzanne that just get to be theirs, you know, because that is really special and unique as long as they don't push the risk factor too far. But if we come to be aware of mistakes or things that we would deem to be mistakes Or if there are things that are quote unquote kind of messing up that keep happening, we want to put it in this realm of a, it could be just like a totally normal thing that teens do and actually is good for their health and development. B, it could be one of those things that we need to put in context just like I did with my taxes, right? Like something else might be going on that we don't necessarily know about.

You know, it could be just kind of a reaction. Maybe someone's teen gets pulled over for speeding, not because they're irresponsible, but because they're really exhausted from all the schoolwork that they've been doing. So it looks like they did a bad thing, but really what's underneath it is something else. Or maybe they were rushing home for curfew because they know if I'm not home on time that's a big problem for my parent. And though that's frustrating to the parent, we want to see that the intention was good.

So behavior isn't always, you know, a lot of times bad behaviors have good intentions. You are affiliating with your friends. Maybe someone's rushing home for curfew. We've got to problem solve that, but let's not get so upset about that. Yeah.

Let's try to and so to kind of have that that curious mind that it could be fatigue, it could be, you know, a decision might be made in a fit of emotion for a teenager because their brain is going through so much change and it doesn't mean necessarily that they're always going to make those, bad choices, quote unquote bad choices. Another thing I just like to point out is sometimes there's actually what we psychologists call a skills deficit. But really just something that a teen doesn't quite know how to handle or hasn't quite kind of developmentally grown up into knowing what to do yet. Right? So it could be that all the zeros are in the homework portal and they're not handing in their homework because they really maybe have difficulty knowing how to approach the teacher.

Right? And they don't want to have the zeros, right? Or maybe the zeros are there because they were trying to do other things that were really effective and good in their life and they're just not sure how to manage the organization. Or maybe there's a more concrete skills deficit like a learning concern with math and that's why the grades are a problem. So instead of jumping to conclusions, if we can sort of a, allow for the possibility, they're just teens and their brains are changing and we've got to give a little leeway.

Yep. But b, it may not be as bad as we think. There may be other things underneath it. I think it goes a long way in our relationships with our teens if we can try to keep that in mind.

I've had teenagers say this to me and I I think about this a lot where I've had some teens say to me like, I just want my mom or dad or my grandparent or whoever is is caretaking, I just want them to believe in me or think good things about me. Mhmm. And I I this doesn't mean that we turn a blind eye and we ignore things that are going on. But I do think starting with that premise of kind of seeing the good or, like, like, they're coming from a good place or they're trying. Like, we kind of assume the positive about someone.

We can still address a problem like, hey, I noticed this with your grades or, you know, every Saturday night we've said to be home by eleven and it's 11:30. But it's very different when we kind of start from a place of like, I think you're a good kid or I think you're a good person. I believe in you, but here's a problem we're encountering instead of

You're irresponsible. Yep.

Yeah. You're going down a bad path.

Right. And you know, it reminds me of a phrase that a lot of teenagers will say, like, yo, it's not that deep.

Oh, I love that.

It's not that deep. Doctor. Karen, it's not that deep. Yep. Right?

Yep. Like it really may not be that you're being irresponsible and you're not doing the things and this is causing this problem and people are going live. It really may be I did the homework and I forgot to hand it in. Right? It may not be malicious Mhmm.

And sometimes we inadvertently put malicious intent. Now, to be clear, sometimes there are bigger concerns. Sometimes things are a little bit more malicious or are a sign of a bigger psychological concern. Yeah. And so those but even with that, if you start from the possibility that there wasn't intentional maliciousness Yeah.

We get a lot further.

And that they are trying their best, but they may have some sort of skills deficit. There may be a larger problem or a larger concern that's getting in the way.

Right. Right. And I have to sort of align with parents a little bit on this because we are living in a time where it does feel as though the stakes are higher for our teens than it was for you when you were smoking the cigarette butts in the street.

Yes. Okay. Good. This is circling on to question two, I think. So let me like flush that out of like

Oh, why do we lose it?

Why am I losing it? Why why do I lose it when my teen is messing up? Right. So I think this is a really good point. The stakes feel very high.

They feel very high for a lot of mistakes our teens can make because our teens are under different things are recorded in a different way. Social media, you know, like, think

of If someone had wanted to wrap me out to my parents, they would have had to have driven by with their disposable or regular camera, taken pictures of my friends and I smoking cigarette butts from the ground, brought it to the drugstore or grocery store, waited a week or two to get it printed, paid $13.99 with their coupon to get those back. Yep. Then they would have had to have put them in the mail, put a stamp on it, and mailed them to my parents. I'm pretty sure a month later, anyone who wanted to wrap me up would have given up this entire shenanigans. I would have to have been doing something much more illicit on the streets in order for someone to follow through on that.

A 100%. Our teams our

teams have it harder. Someone can just be driving by and take a quick video and snap and put it out whose kids are these? And then suddenly, you're thrown off the tennis team or you're thrown

off the football team or

Yeah.

You know, and and so

And as a parent, that feels really scary because on the one hand, everyone's telling us, right, all the experts and all the people and here we are like, they've got to make some mistakes. Like, this is how they learn and how they grow. You've got to let them as parents make mistakes, but we're kind of forgetting that bigger context that maybe as a parent you're saying, okay. Yeah. She she might go smoke some cigarette butts or go do some some interesting things.

But even if I'm willing to forgive that and allow for that, my community might not. Right. The college might not. Their job might not. The high school might not.

And and so then, am I not a good parent? Am I not protecting and supporting my child because I let this play out instead of watching where they were, track tracking them, checking their bag all the time to see what they you know, doing all those things. Like, we're stuck.

It leads to another whole podcast about sort of developing a relationship with your teen and the best ways to do that because if we totally clamp down, that's only going to push them away. So you're bringing up a lot of good points. But I think because it feels like the stakes are higher, because I think it feels to parents that it brings on a lot of emotions. It brings on a lot of stress for parents and then they jump to conclusions. This does mean the bad thing.

This could be videotaped. This could cause problems. And so then the reason that we lose it or parents lose it is because they're responding to their own emotion. They're responding to their own anxiety about the situation And sometimes that's justified. Like sometimes Yeah.

It's fair that that, you know, may maybe this will have a bigger consequence than it would have for you or I, you know, in the in the eighties or nineties.

And emotions are giving us information. So we're certainly not encouraging parents to ignore feelings

Right.

Or little red flags that are kind of popping up and saying to them like, I am concerned about this or I'm not sure about this.

But we don't want it and completely react only to our fears and predictions or our jumping to conclusions. Okay. We do want to sort of I I think step one when what to do, we do want to slow down and pause. Right? Okay.

And and and take that breath and kind of catch your thoughts in the moment. Because you know, in our brains it's amazing. We have thoughts and we just think they're fact. We just think they're true, right? And then we react in light of that.

If we can just sort of pause and breathe and see if we're maybe catastrophizing and sort of slow ourselves down. Something that I found useful is even just sort of like say if I'm feeling that tension, just sort of saying to myself, I can allow this moment to be. I can accept my child in this moment even with the F. Even if he failed this class. Right?

And saying that over and over again and trying to turn him in because the fact of the matter is we handle every moment that comes to us anyway. Our choice is just are we going handle it really overreacting and anxious and stressed out and responsible, which is understandable. Or can we try to take that pause and give ourself that mantra to be able to move forward in maybe a less reactive way. I really like that. Yeah.

And I think, I'm not sure if it was earlier today before we were on the podcast, but that allows, we were talking about, that allows for us to be a little more curious with our kids if we can soothe ourselves first versus reactive, which will just push them away. And when we're acting in our own anxiety,

our teens will push us away. And and shut down or shut down. That that is I think I I can think about those times when I've kind of come into my house on fire about something and, you know, kind of my energy is so much about whatever the thing is that they kind of automatically pull back from me in that. And and and then we're kind of further apart and they're less likely to kind of take anything in or or share anything.

And that's when we miss the opportunity to find out what the emotion is underneath this or what the skills deficit is that's going on. Because quite frankly, they don't wanna have a conversation with us when we're acting that way. Mhmm. When we're acting in a controlling or anxious or loud sort of way. Critical.

Critical sort of way. And I get Neither do I.

Yeah. No.

No. No. Someone, you know, when someone comes to me acting that way, I sort of shut down as well.

So Oh, goodness. Yes. When, like, you know, you bought all the wrong food. Why is everything in our house disgusting? I noticed myself getting incredibly defensive.

You know? Well, I'm doing this and I'm doing that. Right? And and versus allowing for, like, you know what? It's been a really busy week, and I didn't have time to go to the grocery store.

So we're kind of eating Yeah. Whatever is left. Right? Which which is a more joining conversation, but when we feel accused and criticized and attacked, it's a normal human response Mhmm. To shut down, back off, or to go on attack ourselves.

And, you know, I don't wanna go toe to toe with my teenager or anyone else's teenager.

Yeah. I agree. So I think that brings us to what now?

Mhmm.

You know, what what this week? What can we take away? Mhmm.

Well, I really loved that mantra because I think what I'm hearing from you when you say that is not I I'm okay with this. Like, I'm okay with my child struggling with this, or I'm okay with, you know, this this kind of public thing that happened. But you're really leaning into, like, this is this is the moment and I should stay here or I need to stay here. I can handle this. I can get through this with my teen.

And really trying to that that mantra seems really grounding to me, so we're not kind of jumping ahead to and then this will happen and then that will happen and this will happen. How will I do this? Which feels really overwhelming.

And that's exactly it. Right? That's exactly it. Reminding ourselves, our teams are human just like we're human.

Mhmm.

Right? I've got to take that pause. I've got to remind myself that no matter what's going on, I can handle. I can be in this moment with my teen. I can accept my teen with all of their mistakes.

And I can attempt to sort of slow down and soothe myself. And the next step, there's any number of next steps that may come.

Right? Which reminds me because I do think one part here, you know, I want to acknowledge that there might be some parents who are listening to this podcast who are coping with a pretty large mistake or pretty public mistake. Mhmm. A really difficult one that may be challenging a family's values or or just a lot of uncertainty around what to do next. And so I don't wanna discount that that, yes, that mantra might feel really grounding, but there may be parents listening to this thinking to themselves, but then what am I supposed to do?

How do I get through?

Big and it's so scary and it's so life changing.

Yep. Yep. How do I get through the next few weeks or a few months of this and stay with that mantra or stay grounded. And I'm glad you acknowledged that and it reminds me of a book that I think could

Yep. Be Which is Michelle Ickard's book called Eight Setbacks That Can Make Your Child a Success. Yes. Something in that realm.

Yep.

And what's really great about that is she really normalizes making mistakes, quote unquote messing up. But she has a really nice kind of formula to help ground yourself as a parent to manage when that mistake comes. And she goes through eight different ones and I just found it really really helpful not only to with regard to yourself and how to manage things with your tween or teen. I think the book is aimed towards middle school but I really find it applies to high school and even college kids as well or kids in the working world as well. But it's really grounded.

But it's also helpful with how to think about what to say to whom, when, sort of in the community. So just a nice recommendation there.

Yeah. And something to take away additional if if it feels like you need more support around this versus just a way to think about it, but what to do next. That might be a nice, reference Yeah. For a parent.

So with that, I think we're almost time to Yeah. To wrap up. Just a quick acknowledgment next week, we are going to be talking about autonomy. And it's this word that gets thrown around in the tween and teen sort of landscape Yep. Right of books and social media.

And we're just gonna unpack it and what does it mean and try to, you know, take a view that's really actionable and and a little bit more clear. Because I think it can be, you know, confusing for people and a little bit scary to parents. And as always, if you have any feedback or anything you'd like to share with us or if you have questions or topics that you'd like to have come on a future episode of the Parenting Pair Podcast, please don't hesitate to shoot us an email at hellotheparentingpair dot com. And now, a quick word from our lawyers. The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for and educational purposes only.

Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.