The New Game: Parenting Teens in the Age of Legal Sports Betting

There was a Supreme Court case in 2018 that changed the law to allow that legalized sports betting. I grew up

in Las Vegas. Right. And so this is an area in which I actually feel quite comfortable talking about gambling or or, you know, hearing about this because growing up in Vegas, it's everywhere.

So you don't need to panic. You just need to be aware and be aware that there's a risk possibly in your teen's pockets. Hello, and welcome back to the Parenting Paired Podcast. I'm Dr. Annalise Caron.

And I'm Dr. Suzanne Allen.

And today, we're going to dive into a topic head on, the rise of online gambling and sports betting. So, this wasn't a question from a listener, it was more just what Suzanne and I are seeing in our practice. And so we thought that it would be really a good time to talk about it.

Yep. Talk about a couple of things. The legality, cultural changes that are taking place and contributing to this, and for parents and for teens and young people to be educated on kind of warning signs or things to look for and to know about, and then for parents how to talk to their teens and tweens about this. Exactly.

All right, so we're going to jump right in with kind of what has changed, because I noticed a real change at the time of the pandemic that suddenly, once I was seeing kids not in my office anymore but with them in their bedrooms and me in my house, that typically boys were talking a lot more about sports betting on their phones. Yes. And this was new to me. I had never heard this before in fifteen, twenty years of private practice.

Yeah, wasn't really something that came up

very often. But since then, I hear a lot about it. It's becoming much more normative. And I thought it was just because of that time alone and maybe they got into the activity. But actually, there's been a change.

There was a Supreme Court case in 2018 that changed the law to allow that legalized sports betting, Right? So now 38 states have legalized sports betting, and of those 38, 29 allow online bets. Right? So that's created this new industry, all of these apps that just make things a lot more readily available than they had been before. And there are, to be clear, there are age limits, and it varies by state.

Some states are 18, some states are 21. And the apps themselves, like DraftKing or FanDuels, forget which one, requires you to be 19. So there are rules about it, but the enforcement is inconsistent. And the thing about teenagers is they're incredibly creative and crafty, and so they can find workarounds. If they enjoy it or they're interested in it, there usually workarounds, you know, to get there.

And for someone who hasn't done a lot of gambling myself, and you know, certainly the parents I know, this kind of snuck up on us.

Yes, and it's been very interesting to me because I grew up in Las Vegas. Right. And so this is an area in which I actually feel quite comfortable talking about gambling or hearing about this, because growing up in Vegas, it's everywhere. It's in the grocery store, it's at the drugstore. Everywhere you go, there was a slot machine or a poker machine.

Your family went out for breakfast at the buffet at the casino on Sundays. Right. But it's been very interesting because to me, that's about my childhood and my life in Las Vegas. In other places that I've lived across the nation, that has not been part of kind of the community and the culture and the discussions, but I I've noticed that coming up more and more with young people. But what's so interesting is I think when you grow up in Las Vegas, you see both sides of it.

And so certainly, while you might see people glamorously dressed at Caesar's Palace on a Friday night, you know, kind of back in the day, you saw billboards all around town as you were driving to your practices or to school that were advertising resources for people who had lost their homes or were in kind of hopeless and terrible states related to gambling.

You

know, when you went to that buffet on Sunday morning with your family, you saw people who had been there maybe most of the night or were starting their day gambling. And sometimes the way the casino looked at that time was very different than on a Friday or Saturday night. You kind of saw the less glamorous side of gambling, which I think I feel fortunate in some ways growing up around kind of a more balanced view of the highs and the lows of what gambling can be.

And I think that's really different for those of us who didn't grow up in Las Vegas, because what you're saying is you really saw both sides and you have a more educated view, I would say, than many of us who didn't. Because growing

up in it, we had discussions about it within our household because it was part of our everyday lives. So certain things that my parents would just say kind of offhand, you know, like, The casinos always win. Like in the end, no, the casinos win. Or my dad said, if you're ever going to gamble, you know, bring a set amount of money to the casino, never use the ATM, always decide how much you're going to spend, and end it there. Because it's set up to capture you and keep you there.

They don't have windows for a reason. They pump oxygen in for a reason. They change the lighting for a reason. They're working against you to win.

That's so interesting. Yeah. That's an entire And speaking for myself, having been raised in Connecticut and not in Vegas, my education was a $1 lotto ticket that my family bought once a month maybe, and also that Kenny Rogers song. You know? You gotta know, go and hold them.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So when you're coming from that Different orientations. Different orientations. And culturally, in the context, it wasn't really relevant.

And I think what's interesting now, we have young people, 29 states, allowing online betting where they can just get an app in their pocket and they don't have those billboards and they don't naturally, you know and I include myself in this naturally automatically have those conversations because it's not visible, right?

We might not know, right? Just as our teenager is sitting at home kind of scrolling around watching some fun sports videos or something like that, they might actually be gambling at the same time, and we just wouldn't know. So a lot of parents aren't talking about it or aren't addressing it because we just don't have the awareness that this is happening.

And so this is really concerning because we know that youth are the fastest growing subset of gamblers in the nation right

And am

I right that it's youth males? Yes, yes. Typically youth males. It's not gambling, because it's so accessible, we think, and oftentimes it starts free and fun and whatnot, it's not really perceived because there hasn't been as much messaging about it as dangerous or risky behavior by youth. Know, there's been a lot of messaging, you know, about drunk driving, right, for instance.

And so youth, no, have that education because there's been a lot of push on that. There's been much less with regard to gambling, and that's

just sort of beginning. Yeah, and in fact, it's actually quite enticing. I love sports and my family loves sports, and we watch a lot of sports, we attend a lot of sports. But what is interesting is, almost every other kind of commercial, or even during the announcing games, there are mentions of gambling or bets being placed. And very often, it's high profile celebrities and really funny, cool, interesting people advertising this or encouraging it.

And the offers are pretty compelling. Like, you don't actually place a bet until you win, so you can play this game that's so much fun for free. And then when you win, sure, you can put in a little money. So there's nothing about it that appears kind of dangerous or threatening. Seems like fun, and games are fun.

And when you're hearing it from the sports commentators and when you're picking up TikTok and people advertising it on TikTok, it seems exciting, right? So it's very understandable how people get enamored with it or interested in it. And so let's talk about how teens get access, right? The reality is in 29 states, they can just download an app, right? Yep.

And so once you've got the app, there are limitations on the app. So, you know, but teenagers find workarounds for that. The limitations being, you know, you have to be age 19, say, or you have to be 21, depending upon the app. So there is just a subset of young college students who now legally have access, right, and can get a little bit in a slippery slope, you know?

If you're younger, maybe you have an older sibling that might help you out on that one, or maybe because you're watching a football game with your mom or dad and they're going to let you do it under their account for a little bit for fun. Right. And, you know, some teens have fake IDs as well, so they're able to use those IDs to upload it. And there are also international and kind of overseas apps.

Well, that's what I have heard about a couple of times from kids, that some of the apps that are easily accessible here do have those limitations and you might need to upload documents that they don't have. But if you go to international ones that don't have as many restrictions, it's just an entree in. Another thing that I've heard about, and I think you've mentioned to me as well in the past, is people starting with apps or betting on apps that don't even involve money.

Yeah. Right? That are just kind of online poker games or online games, and then the teens themselves are kind of outside of the virtual world are putting money into a pot than gambling with But those sort

of private transactions outside the hepts actually can really add up and really are expected to be paid, and it hurts friendships and it stresses out teenagers and it can be, in a similar way to the app itself, someone enticing, someone enthralling, but it also can get you in trouble.

And it's hard because I want to come at this from a balanced place of, you know, games are fun I think growing up, right, some of us had the experience of, you know, a Super Bowl, you know, a betting pool

Kentucky Derby, throw a dollar in for your horse, yep.

Yep, So every once in a while, you know, you got to do this fun thing and kind of have access to it. And and sure, maybe it made the game a little bit exciting, right? And I grew up in a family where we did play a lot of games on weekends. And sometimes we did play poker and played, you know, different things together. So I I certainly don't want to be so kind of black or white about this, that like, you know, this is wrong and this is or that all kids who are engaging in this are gonna become gambling addicts, because that's also not true.

100% not true. But, you know, there used to be kind of more barriers around this, where it was only a certain time of year, or it was just kind of harder to access, so it probably helped all of us keep some of these things in check, because you just couldn't do what it was hard to do, whereas now it's really a lot easier to do And

what's interesting, another sort of avenue here, and in a similar way, not to be fearmongering in any way, but just for parents' knowledge, one route that's been studied that has actually been priming kids or sort of like introducing gambling before they're gambling to them is through video games. And so there was a study in 2023 that showed kind of kids who play were heavy gamers. Mhmm. So I'm not talking kids who game on the weekends or game a little bit half an hour after school before they do homework. Not that sort.

But really heavy gamers, a lot of the video games have what's called loot boxes in them. Have you heard of that? I have. Yeah. And so what a loot box is is you pay for it with real world money and within the video game, but then you don't know exactly what you're going to get.

Right? So for example, you could potentially get a really cool skin for, you know, your avatar that you're playing the game with or a really cool, I don't know, sort of tool or weapon or whatever it is, but you don't know until you get Sounds like the price

is right or one of these awesome games.

Right, like the door is closed and you don't know what you're getting.

Lift up the curtain. What's behind it?

So the value is unclear when you're putting the money You don't know what you're going to get or not get. And there's a real, you know, similarity to that. It's kind of based on chance, and that is similar to gambling. And this is has became, you know, such a concern. It's these things are kind of designed to keep you in the video game because it gets exciting.

If I get just one more loot box, which of course gets more money to video game, then maybe it'll work this time. Right? And so it tends to get kids more interested in the video games and want to do them more, but there's also a path from heavy gaming in games that have a lot of loot boxes to it's predictive of, associated with not everyone goes this route, but with a higher likelihood of getting involved in online gambling after. And so that's it's just, again, an interesting thing for parents to be aware of, right? And could foster conversations just around if some you know, even a young child, because a lot of these games are advertised for kids, you know, or it's supposedly reported that, you know, this video game is for age 12 and up, but they might have these loot boxes in them, but really, like, and nine year olds are playing these games.

So they're kind of getting used to this way of gaming, right? Yeah. But it could be interesting just to have conversations with your kids about, Hey, you know, did you They might not call it a loot box. It's gonna be called something else in the particular game. Yeah.

But how did that feel? Have you ever gotten the fancy skin? You know, like, wonder just in a very light and easy way. Because you might be able to point out, Wow, you've bought eight of those and you've never once gotten the skin you've wanted. What do you make of that?

Just to get them thinking, you know, kind of about you know, how this works, because what's happened is kind of the lines between, you know, it's almost like gaming and gambling or like taking risk within a video game, it's kind of blurred.

Yeah, they've blurred a little bit.

Yeah. It's interesting, too. I was talking to my son last night at dinner about the fact you and I were going to be, you know, having this podcast Oh, I'm too

late, too.

Yeah. And he immediately said, Oh, mom, those have been restricted. And I said, What do you mean? He said, Oh, yeah, they were in Fortnite. The loot boxes were in Fortnite, but it was amazing to me.

He said, in 2019, they took them away. I said, in 2019, you remember the year? He said, yes. And so I went and looked it up online, and he was right. And he said, yeah.

Those those aren't allowed because they're unfair. And so it was really interesting. But then I read, and they're actually not allowed in multiple countries in that particular game. Other games still have them, but multiple countries are looking into this because they're worried, you know, about where this is going for kids. And so Fortnite took them out.

Fortnite used to have them in the Save the World. He explained this to me. There's multiple versions. There's Battle Royale, there's Save the World. Yes.

Save the World used to have the loot boxes. They were taken out in 2019, but our Federal Trade Commission, which is what I found after I had this discussion with my son, is looking into putting more and more restrictions on this because of this, you know, concern.

Because of the concern, the link between

gaming and Yeah, kind of

priming the brain.

Priming the brain. And a little bit of playing a gamble within a video game that's really being advertised to young children. And I have to say, I think in very minor ways, you know, in games that even young kids play, like young elementary and you know, some preschoolers, I think some things pop up. Oh, just you know, dual because I I do remember, and this is years ago now because my son's 17, him coming to me, you know, if he had his screen time for thirty minutes when he was little, Oh, can I get this? And I was like, Do I have to pay for that?

No, you're not going to get that. But I think it's even built in when kids are really young, this idea of, Oh, I pay.

I think so, too, and it's funny you bring that up because we had that come up a lot, and one of the things that we just did is kind of, know, a little bit, to be honest with you, because as a parent sometimes I did that like, oh, let's talk about it later, or bring that back to me in a few minutes, and then I would hope that they wouldn't come back to talk to me about it. So, but we did openly kind of discuss this with some of the gaming things when my kids were little, or of like, oh my gosh, And so we did a lot of like practicing delay of like, you know what, sometimes in the moment it's like you really, really want something, but if you wait twenty four hours, if you wait one day or two days, you might feel differently about it.

That's great advice.

And so that was just something that we practiced. And then if my child still wanted to spend money from their allowance or whatever it was on the thing a day or two later, they got it. And did I always approve of the skin or whatever the thing? No. But it felt like to me it was like an exercise in learning about impulse control and this idea of like, and then waiting.

That might

be idea for That's a great idea. That's a really great idea. You know, what we're talking about here, whether it's sports betting or whether it's loot boxes within video games, what we're really talking about is the idea that behavioral psychologists know about of intermittent reinforcement, right? And this is something with, you know, tweens and teens you can talk about just to have them be educated, if they're open to it, if there's a you know, just from a place of interest to them. Yeah, it's interesting.

And it And

to help them better understand themselves. Behavioral psychologists, if you

want to make a behavior stick, you use intermittent reinforcement. Okay, so what do we mean by that? So if you look at studies and you think of, like, you know, mice or rat, you know, rats who can get a reward, and if they have a bar and they press the reward and every time they press the reward, the pellet comes, they they press it for a good bit, but then they stop. Right? Because their their tummy gets full and they're set, and they know if they press that bar, they're gonna get the reward, so

they stop. Predictable. And predictable. That's, you

know, sort of consistent reinforcement. If they press the bar two, three, four, five, six, a 100 times, and no pellet comes, they stop too because they know that bar doesn't work. Right? But the kind of reinforcement, that's just no reinforcement at all. There's nothing there.

I'm going to stop. So if there's regular reinforcement or no reinforcement, the behavior stops. But if that pellet comes at a random variable time, so it comes after three pushes, and then it comes after 15 pushes, and then it comes three times in a row, do you want to know what happens? The wrap pushes more and more and more and more because I just had it, I just had a pellet, and then if it goes 30 times, right, they push faster and faster and faster. And that's what's happening, right, with gambling.

Like, what about this next bet? What about this next time I get the loot box? It might happen this It might happen. And it was

so awesome when it did happen.

You know the reward is coming. You know the reward is coming, but you don't know when. And that's what, you know, what gets people stuck. So again, it's just your point of discussion. I describe it to people in clinical sessions that I've had as, you know those things in diners sometimes, it's like a big glass box and it has toys in it and it has the claw and you can put in 50¢ and you can try to get the toy?

I feel like that is a perfect example of intermittent reinforcement because in my entire life, and I'm 50 and I'll admit it, I've probably played 20 times at least, I got it once. But I know now that I'm impressed. You got it once. I got it. I got it once.

And so it's like, maybe I'll get it this time. And I bet you get in my children.

And it picks it up and it carries it over and it flops it at the last second where you're like, ah.

But that maybe next time is the thing that keeps us going back, right? Maybe next time with the loot boxes. Maybe next time. Maybe the next bet I make. And that's just from, you know, sort of a brain standpoint, what's going on, what we're thinking, what keeps us, you know, going there.

And it hooks all

of us, adults as well, right? Know, intermittent reinforcement is powerful for all of us, but when we think about the developing human and child and teen and the development of the prefrontal cortex, the impact of these types of is

significant. Right, well, the dopamine pushes greater for our teens, and so it's even more exciting, and that inability to kind of put on the brakes in their brains, like this isn't, it's hard for all of us, you know, but it's particularly hard for teenagers.

Yeah, because if it feels even better, why would you stop? Like, it's going to appear less dangerous, because it's that much more reinforcing.

And so I think what we need to sort of take a pause and think at is like, what do we need to watch for? What do we need to be concerned about? You know, if you're a parent listening to this, we don't want you to be unnecessarily worried because I will be clear. My children have played video games. My one of my children regularly plays video games that I guess historically had loot boxes in it, I didn't know that.

Same,

only learned that in the last few months, so

Oops. So it's not that they can't do it, but just knowledge is important. Yes, because

I do, I know we've This probably has sounded in some ways intimidating or kind of scary, and I fear that I don't want parents to listen to this and all of a sudden when their teen is on their phone, or if a teen is if you're watching sports together and they get really upset that their favorite teen loses, to all of a sudden be, are you upset because you're losing money at this?

They're upset because they're really into the game, right? But the times when maybe you should be a little more curious, maybe it is a sign, like kind of what to watch for in your teen or tween

with regard to this Might be missing some money.

Missing some money. Or maybe missing more money than you start to miss. Asking for money a little bit more, increased irritability more than normal, or like almost excessive involvement in multiple games. Yeah. You know, it's not just their favorite team, you know.

Yeah, now they're watching many teams or many different sports, and maybe with an intensity and kind of checking their phones

at same Feels different. Yeah, that feels different. And of course, like anything else, withdrawal from other activities. So if suddenly they're not doing the things that they used to be doing paired with some of the other things we've just mentioned, it might be something to get curious about, right? So I think that kind of brings us to what now?

Right? And I think we want to start with, parents, this larger system is out there. We're not looking for you to change or fix it, and don't feel like you have to run and drill this into your teen or tween today,

right Or to stay on top of it and know everything about it. Because, like we said, we just learned about loot boxes recently, years after our kids were playing them. So it is a system that is very difficult to kind of constantly know what's happening next. Right.

So you don't need to panic, you just need to be aware, and be aware that there's a risk possibly in your teen's pockets. So I think it's always helpful just, you know, as you're going about your life in the next period of time, if you have a teen or tween that may, you know, that you might be aware is betting or you might be curious about it, just ask, 'Hey, have you heard about this?' Right? Just be curious. Not coming in with a lecture, not coming in and saying, This is a terrible thing, because it actually is fun for a lot of people, you know, in moderate amounts. That's fine.

Right? And most people won't develop a gambling addiction.

Yep. And just bring up that discussion in a nonjudgmental and curious way and see what they say. And you may if in that conversation there are really concerning things that come up, well, wonderful. Now you've had that conversation, and then that's a jumping off point to go from. Or it might be just an opportunity to listen to hear their perspective, and I would always hear the teen's perspective first because you'll learn a lot, just like I learned from my son last night, right?

And contrary, most of the time, right, they think we're coming in anxious, worried, controlling, paranoid about things. Their attitude towards this may be much lighter and easy breezy. And like, everyone's gambling. Like, it's not a big deal. What's the big deal?

Yeah. And then you can validate that perspective. I get it. Because, you know, and then in a gentle way, could say, You know, these are the things I wonder about. These are my concerns that I play with in my head.

What do you think about that? And just let it be out there, right? And that could start a discussion. It also signals to your kid, I can talk about these things, which I think is always useful. If you do, though, think that your child may have a problem, your child or teen may have a problem, of course you can see your pediatrician or you can encourage your teen themselves or you yourself to call or text a gambling hotline, is a good option.

So yeah. And if you are looking for kind of a natural opportunity for these conversations to come up and your teen or tween watches sports, sit down with for a couple minutes because it will show up on the screen and it kind of gives you an opportunity to say like, Oh, I'm hearing a lot about this, and see what they say.

Great advice. So with that, I think we'll wrap up for today. And just as always, if you have any feedback or questions, don't hesitate to contact us on Instagram or email us at hellotheparentingpair dot com. And next week, remind me, Suzanne, what are we doing next week?

Well, kind of going along with sports, are going talk a little bit about all of the great opportunities that you can parent through sports. Yeah. Kind of ways that you can connect with your teen or tween as parent of an athlete. Sounds good.

I look forward to it. Have a great week. And now a quick word from our lawyers. The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you have concerns about you or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.